WR Darrius Heyward-Bey plying his trade. Photo via AP. It's time for American Football Spectacular's capsule reviews of the first round in the 2009 NFL Draft. All the intrigue, all the anticipation, all the immeasurables! All hard information was culled from . Let's do this.

* Selection # / Team (trade info) / Player / Position / Height / Weight / School

* 01 / Lions / Stafford, Matthew / QB / 6'2" / 225 / Georgia: Welcome to the NFL, meat. Stultifyingly, the Lions didn't pick up any offensive line help in the draft, so Stafford is facing a very painful welcome into the league. This is no way to run a team. The Lions are still displaying inanity in their front office after the disaster that was GM . And Stafford will pay for their collective failures with his blood.

* 02 / Rams / Smith, Jason / OT / 6'5" / 309 / Baylor: Will he be the next or the next ? The Rams' o-line has been a shambles since 's offensive scheme left town and injuries sidelined Pace. J.Smith is calculated to take Pace's place -- the cornerstone 'pon which this franchise rests.

* 03 / Chiefs / Jackson, Tyson / DE / 6'4" / 295 / LSU: The Chiefs continue their pursuit of a scary defensive front. Their d-line now sports three first-round picks: last year's KC #1 DT , Liberia-born DE , and now DE Tyson Jackson. What's the word on this pick from from AFS Kansas City correspondent Kyle Vorak? "Seems like a solid pick," Vorak opined, "but the best pick... , baby!" Yep, PK became the 2009 NFL Draft's by being the final selection. Huzzah! His party in Newport Beach this June is pending.

* 04 / Seahawks / Curry, Aaron / OLB / 6'2" / 254 / Wake Forest: As they finished drafting Aaron Curry, the Seahawks completed cutting loose both of their starting outside linebackers from last season. They added to their D the young man that many "experts" consider to be the finest player available to draft. Great. Too bad that Seattle still doesn't have any defensive tackles post-...

* 05 / Jets (From Browns) / Sanchez, Mark / QB / 6'2" / 227 / Southern Cal: "Boooooooo, boooooooooo- ... Hwunh?!!" The fancy pants franchise QB that the Jets have been lusting after post- may have arrived. Monstrously rare is the draft pick that Jet fans can't boo. Sanchez projects the right aptitude to succeed in New York, having come up through the pressure cooker environment of being the USC quarterback.

* 06 / Bengals / Smith, Andre / OT / 6'4" / 332 / Alabama: Cincinnati needed an offensive tackle. Andre Smith has character and work-ethic issues. Perfect!

* 07 / Raiders / Heyward-Bey, Darrius / WR / 6'2" / 210 / Maryland: "Soulcrusher." Slumping into the couch, that's how AFS Raider correspondent Tony Bernacchi described The Al's decision to take Darrius Heyward-Bey with their #1 pick. "It's a soulcrusher," he repeated over and over, ruefully shaking his head. Just when we thought that The Al had lost his ability to shock and dismay The Raider Nation, we get this. It's the old pattern of Al taking speed over any other quality. Not demonstrable/demonstrated skill, just speed. There were other players available who conceivably could have helped the Raiders better -- OTs, DTs, even WRs! But no, Al took pure speed. Another guy to run long routes as QB JaMarcus Russell gets sacked due to a poorly-staffed offensive line. Heyward-Bey ran the fastest 40 yard dash at the NFL Combine. So did OAK #1 CB Fabian Washington in 2005. Remember him? This is the pick upon which the storyline of the 2009 Draft turns -- it set off a cascade of picks after Oakland's selection with teams scrambling to snag the proven players who'd fallen down the board into their laps. Will Hey-Bey become a serviceable receiver? It's not as likely as some of the other folks the Raiders could have picked.

* 08 / Jaguars / Monroe, Eugene / OT / 6'5" / 309 / Virginia: The Jags need to protect the quarterback better. They didn't really expect to get Monroe. Then they got Monroe. The end.

* 09 / Packers / Raji, B.J. / DT / 6'2" / 337 / Boston College: True are amongst the rarest and most prized players in the NFL. Green Bay hasn't had a quality defensive tackle since the-size-of-a-small-car NT rumbled there at the beginning of the decade. The Pack need Raji since their defense is still so full of personnel holes. (Most of this paragraph was copied from . Why? The Pack's #1 2007 pick DT didn't step up. Now Green Bay has to deal with all manner of "BJ" puns. Sigh.)

Head Coach Samurai Mike Singletary introduces WR Michael Crabtree. Photo from AP. * 10 / 49ers / Crabtree, Michael / WR / 6'2" / 215 / Texas Tech: As the time to this selection ticked down, we found ourselves pacing, wracked with . Even the 49ers couldn't screw this up, right? Right?!! Our thought process in the seconds up to the pick: "Don'tScrewUp. Don'tScrewUp. Don'tScrewUp. Don'tScrewUp. Yes!!" The Niners took the best-regarded WR available. He shouldn't have been available that far down the draft. As Tony said, it was directly because of the Raiders' pick that Crabtree was available. Heyward-Bey and Crabtree will be inextricably linked throughout their careers. The 49ers now have a strong, tough, confident, proven young receiver for whoever's-playing-quarterback-this-week to throw to.

* 11 / Bills / Maybin, Aaron / DE / 6'4" / 249 / Penn State: In the seconds after this selection, AFS Buffalo correspondent didn't much like it. "I'm not convinced," he said over the phone. Neither are we. Picking up a light pass-rusher when your o-line is sieve-like, and OT Michael Oher is available? Doesn't seem like the best idea, Bills.

* 12 / Broncos / Moreno, Knowshon / RB / 5'11" / 217 / Georgia: First-off; what kind of parents give their son a name with that level of built-in pun to deal with for the rest of their natural-born life? Unkind. In any case, the new Bronco braintrust shows their colors to be the opposite of the previous (evil 's) regime's tact: they drafted a running back rather than just sticking an anybody behind their cut-blocking o-line.

* 13 / Redskins / Orakpo, Brian / DE / 6'3" / 263 / Texas: With ?ber-(over)paid DT in the middle, Washington further monsterizes their line with the addition of Orakpo. They haven't had a consistent pass rush for a while. Overpaying for OLB/DE -- one of the highest rated players in -- failed. So now they'll pay another guy.

* 14 / Saints / Jenkins, Malcolm / CB / 6'0" / 204 / Ohio State: The New Orleans Saints' secondary has been lackluster for years. Jenkins is meant to ameliorate that.

* 15 / Texans / Cushing, Brian / OLB / 6'3" / 243 / Southern Cal: In 2008 the Texans' rushing defense was not-so very. Cushing is expected to partner up with MLB to fill the gaps.

* 16 / Chargers / English, Larry / DE / 6'2" / 274 / Northern Illinois: The Bolts fielded the second worst pass D last season. Yet they add English to a position of pre-existing strength in their personnel. Buh? They needed more o-line help or a DE replacement. A vexing decision.

* 17 / Buccaneers (From Jets through Browns) / Freeman, Josh / QB / 6'6" / 248 / Kansas State: With Head Coach ousted, the Bucs are wrangling their franchise through a cold custom restart. Verily, they pick up the last semi-elite quarterback remaining on the board. Now, Freeman is the new raw guy to run their offense. Big fella with speed and strength, yet questions lie with his decision-making. He'll be a project.

* 18 / Broncos (From Bears) / Ayers, Robert / LB / 6'3" / 272 / Tennessee: Another high-risk/high-reward one-year defensive flash of a player picked up by the Broncos. Are they begging to have their decision-making veracity questioned by the Denver media?

* 19 / Eagles (From Buccaneers through Browns) / Maclin, Jeremy / WR / 6'0" / 198 / Missouri: Picking this speedy fella gives the Eagles a matching set of WR burners between him and former Cal WR DeSean Jackson. Maclin graded as one of the top-rated receivers and lawd only knows ss Philly is always in need of WRs. Could this pick have been better used for a defensive player?

* 20 / Lions (From Cowboys) / Pettigrew, Brandon / TE / 6'5" / 263 / Oklahoma State: Instead of getting a matching QB and LT set like a saucer for a teacup, they pick up a TE. The Lions' offensive line needs players. Not a very bright move.

* 21 / Browns (From Eagles) / Mack, Alex / OC / 6'4" / 311 / California: The Browns finally quit trading-down and deign to select local Cal guy Alex Mack.

* 22 / Vikings / Harvin, Percy / WR / 5'11" / 192 / Florida: Idiots. After being by players with off-the-field issues -- remember , hello? -- the Vikes gamble on another explosive player with biiiiig character issues. Insanity is repeating the same mistake and expecting different results. Well, how will Harvin's story be written? Will he fight through his past like WR ? Or be pulled down by his problems, like WR

* 23 / Ravens (From Patriots) / Oher, Michael / OT / 6'5" / 309 / Mississippi: From a homeless boy on the streets of Memphis to a #1 pick of the Ravens , Michael Oher's life has come from the lowest of the low to the highest heights of opportunity. The Ravens moved up to grab the guy they think can be their new cornerstone, like sure-fire Hall Of Fame-er LT Jonathan Ogden once was. And yes, the movie is in the works.

* 24 / Falcons / Jerry, Peria / DT / 6'2" / 299 / Mississippi: When you draft a guy from a NCAA Football draft class onto your Madden franchise team, you come to feel a certain ownership over their career when they finally make it to the NFL. CB Chris Gamble. DE Haloti Ngata. RB Reggie Bush. DE Marcus Spears. That's the feeling we feel about pass-rushing DT Peria Jerry.

* 25 / Dolphins / Davis, Vontae / CB / 5'11" / 203 / Illinois: 's brother. Like the 49ers' own TE V.Davis, Vontae is chiseled and talented, but can he keep his head and heart in the game? When a guy's heart exceeds his talent, you get something like (awesome) or LB . When a guy has talent but no heart, you get ['s solo work] (ugh) or CB . Better to go in the direction of having not enough talent than not enough heart. How much heart Vontae Davis can bring to the field has is yet to be determined.

* 26 / Packers (From Ravens through Patriots) / Matthews, Clay / OLB / 6'3" / 240 / Southern Cal: The Pack continue to try to shore up their D by bringing in Matthews to play behind BJ, who as of right now we've decided to nickname "The Big Pun."

* 27 / Colts / Brown, Donald / RB / 5'10" / 210 / Connecticut: Eve's Colts hedge their bets on RB by picking up a versatile "complete" back to spell and/or replace Addai in Indy's singleback offense.

* 28 / Bills (From Panthers through Eagles) / Wood, Eric / OC / 6'4" / 310 / Louisville: Trying to be smart/boring, the Bills play it safe with Wood. " didn't really have anything on him," mulled AFS Buffalo correspondent , "So, 'no comment.'"

* 29 / Giants / Nicks, Hakeem / WR / 6'1" / 212 / North Carolina: They're trying to replace . 's own finally got let go for sake of being old. So, Nicks is the big-bodied possession WR that the NYG need.

* 30 / Titans / Britt, Kenny / WR / 6'3" / 218 / Rutgers: The Titans have gotten by with no standout receivers for a couple of seasons. Now they hope they have one.

* 31 / Cardinals / Wells, Chris / RB / 6'1" / 235 / Ohio State: The Cardinals picking up a well-graded running back is like picking up a guitar -- it doesn't help the things that they're already obviously very good at, and it's not like they really need to use it.

* 32 / Steelers / Hood, Evander / DT / 6'3" / 300 / Missouri: How a 300-pound man gets the nickname Ziggy is anybody's guess. Big Zig will be expected to spell/succeed the powerful DT at the Stillrrs' nose tackle spot.

* No picks in the 2009 first round: Lauren's Bear?? (traded for QB ); Rick's Cowboys (traded for WR ); Gordon's Pats (traded down via Ravens )

Next up on your : Biography-izin' the 49er and Raider draft classes. Stay tuned.

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